Embracing My Messy
Confessions of an Ambitious Introvert: Releasing Perfectionism to Find Joy in My Hustle
I realized I was stuck in my life, constantly feeling like people only wanted something from me. As a daughter and a sister, I knew my roles, but I didn't know who I was. I never thought I was the problem because I always prioritized others, often forgetting myself. Deep down, I felt unloved and unimportant, leading to a cycle of self-abandonment.
Starting my own business marked a turning point. This journey became about rediscovering and valuing myself. I've lost friends along the way, no longer the "nice girl" who stops everything to help others. Yet, when it was my turn to seek support, no one was there for me. I realized I had lost myself for others.
Growing up in a toxic family as the eldest child, I felt immense pressure to set an example. I was the first to earn a doctorate in my family, but along the way, I attracted toxic relationships, especially in the workplace. During my three years working on my thesis in Geneva, I experienced both the best and worst times. Living alone without friends, I discovered myself, spent time with myself, and started to care about myself, free from the responsibilities my family forced upon me because I was the older sister.
At the same time, my bosses and colleagues were mean, racist, and disingenuous. I learned to make myself small, often holding back from saying what I really wanted to say. But through these challenges, I began to reclaim my power and define my worth.
I love sharing personal experiences—it’s therapeutic for me. With Mademoiselle Mindset, I want to delve deeper into business, mindset, and feminine energy. Yet, I often feel blocked by the need to be perfect. This block is especially evident when I record my two podcasts, in French and English. I know that people will recognize my story and my mistakes. But I also believe that sharing these experiences will create a stronger connection with my audience.
Today, I feel lost in both my life and business. I’m unsure of who I am, but I do know that I’m tired of listening to all the coaches. I received some good advice from
: I need to listen to what I really want. I want to have fun with my business. I understand the importance of strategy, but I’m exhausted from spending hours crafting the perfect Instagram hook just for a few likes. I’m grateful for my followers, but I want to attract people like me—high achievers who aspire to build a six-figure business through mindset and strategy.I realize I’ve been putting myself in a box out of fear. Now, I’m ready to break free and embrace my authentic self. This journey is about balancing strategy with joy and authenticity. I want my Substack to reflect this, fostering a genuine connection with my readers and inspiring them to pursue their dreams with the right mindset and strategy.
I often feel scared to say what I truly want because I spend so much time pleasing others instead of myself. I find my own content boring, except when I write on my Substack or record my podcast. I want to create a business that truly reflects who I am. If you're in a similar situation, it's time to start listening to your intuition.
I developed the "5 Connections of Femininity" because I've seen, both in my clients and myself, that if you don’t love your personal, relational, and professional life, at least one of these areas will suffer. I was so focused on strategies to grow my business and following that I lost myself. I used to believe I deserved nothing unless I achieved a specific goal.
Right now, I feel disconnected from all five connections. To change this, I’m going to focus on my creativity and intuition. I'm starting a challenge to fall back in love with my business and my life. If you're in this phase too, I invite you to follow my journey. I will experiment and share my experiences on both Substack platforms: Mademoiselle Mindset and Behind the Silence.
I'm letting go of all the guru voices and starting to listen to my own. I want to have fun creating content across all my platforms, just like I do on Substack and my podcast. This journey is about reclaiming joy and authenticity in everything I do.
After years of putting everyone else's needs before my own, I've realized that the only way to truly thrive is to start with loving and honoring myself. It's time to shed the toxic patterns, toxic relationships, and the constant striving for perfection that have held me back. By reconnecting with my core desires, my intuition, and my innate feminine energy, I know I can create the fulfilling personal and professional life I've been dreaming of. This is just the beginning of an exciting new chapter, and I can't wait to see where it leads.
Mood of the week:
Lifestyle
This week has been a real turning point for me. I finally took the plunge and treated myself to a brand-new tablet - not the latest Apple model, but the Xiaomi Tab 6 PRO. Sure, the iPad is tempting, but I figured this was a smart investment for now as I focus on being more productive outside of my home office.
Yesterday, I headed to the library again to do some soul-searching. I worked through an exercise all about finding myself, revisiting my story, and rediscovering why I started my business in the first place. It was a powerful process that really made me feel more grounded and centered again. I realized that I've been spending way too much time cooped up in my room, endlessly creating content. I've been living in this little box, too scared to venture out, even though part of me is excited to break free.
If I'm being honest, this has been a lifelong pattern for me. I've always been searching for love and acceptance from others, when the truth is I've never truly loved myself. But I think that's the case for a lot of people who feel lost or stuck in their lives. We're all looking for that fulfillment outside ourselves, when the real journey has to start from within.
Physique
This week has been a total game-changer - I've finally started getting back into swimming, and let me tell you, it feels like the perfect escape. There's just something about being in the water that allows me to completely disconnect. No phone, no people to worry about, just pure focus on my movement. It's like I'm able to leave all the stress and noise of the present moment behind.
The way my body moves through the water is so grounding and revitalizing. I can reconnect with myself on a deep level, both physically and mentally. It's amazing how swimming allows me to be so present and in tune with my own form and rhythm. I walk away from every session feeling so alive and refreshed.
And you know what else is making me feel amazing? The fact that these swimming workouts are helping me work towards my goal of getting healthier and feeling more confident in my own skin. I'm not just doing this for vanity - it's about taking care of my body and my overall wellbeing. I can't wait to start rocking the cute outfits I've been eyeing once I hit my target weight.
Fall ideas
Speaking of outfits, I'm already getting so excited for fall fashion. I know we're still in the middle of summer, but I just love everything about the autumn aesthetic - the rich, cozy colors, the oversized sweaters, the knee-high boots. I think I'm going to have to treat myself to a whole new fall wardrobe this year. Maybe I'll even write a post about my favorite seasonal looks.
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