Everyone wants a piece of me except myself

The Nice Girl's Rebellion

Jul 09, 2024

You've seen her. The quiet, empathetic girl who seems to have an endless capacity for others' needs. She's the one who stays late at work, who listens to everyone's problems, who's always there in a crisis. She's the emotional sponge, absorbing the world's pain with a smile. Her perceived value? Giving until she's empty, sacrificing herself on the altar of others' happiness. But what if this "nice girl" decided to shatter the mold and unleash her raw, unfiltered truth?

I was that girl. The one everyone wanted a piece of, except myself. I suffocated my feelings, believing them to be a weakness in a world that demands strength. Silence terrified me; my mind a raging inferno of unspoken desires and suppressed ambitions. I became a second mother to my siblings, a star student, the perfect daughter - a chameleon adapting to everyone's expectations but my own. The result? A master of self-sabotage, a black belt in people-pleasing, with boundaries as fragile as tissue paper.

If you want to go deep on nice girl syndrome :

Mademoiselle Mindset

Is the nice girl syndrome a way of suppressing a part of yourself?

In society, there is a set of expectations that influence our behavior. Positive behavior is often commended, while negative actions are met with criticism. However, women are particularly conditioned to conform to specific roles such as being a good girl, an ideal wife, or a nurturing mother. From a young age, women are taught to prioritize others' nee…

a year ago · 5 likes · alycia

Consequences

The consequences of this self-betrayal were brutal and far-reaching. I craved validation like oxygen, manipulating situations to become indispensable to everyone around me. Fear of authenticity drove me into hyper-masculine energy - suppressing intuition, grasping for control, and wearing perfectionism-like armor. I was exhausted, unfulfilled, and completely disconnected from my true self.

My business became a mirror reflecting this dysfunction. I offered free coaching, attracted demanding clients who drained my energy and operated without a shred of boundaries. I became a magnet for toxic energy vampires who wanted salvation without putting in the work. My content? A boring echo chamber, a pale imitation of other people's voices. I spiraled into a victim mentality, drowning in hollow praise that never converted to actual sales or genuine success.

Here's the truth bomb that nice girls everywhere need to hear: People-pleasing isn't inherently evil. It teaches empathy, psychology, and the nuances of human interaction. But there comes a day - a crucial, life-altering moment - when self-abandonment must end. Your dreams, your business, your self-led clients - they're all waiting on the other side of "nice." They're calling for the real you, the untamed you, the you that's been silenced for far too long.

Breaking Free: Embracing Your Inner "Bad Guy"

Enter into your villain era

When I finally chose authenticity, I became the "villain" in many people's stories. I said no to others and a resounding yes to myself. I ditched soul-crushing jobs that drained my spirit, set firm boundaries with energy-draining friends, and prioritized self-care like my life depended on it - because it did. Furthermore, I chose myself, unapologetically and wholeheartedly.

Rebellion becomes your new mantra. It's time to silence the external noise - the should, the expectations, the outdated societal norms - and amplify your inner voice. The result? A dream community that resonates with your authentic self, a life that exceeds your wildest imagination. The alternative? Watching others live your dreams through the distorted lens of social media, suffocating under the weight of societal pressure and unfulfilled potential.

Prioritization Isn't Selfish, It's Survival

Women, especially, are conditioned to be nurturers, caregivers, and the emotional glue of families and communities. But are rarely we encouraged to be dreamers, to prioritize our own desires and ambitions. It's time to rewrite this narrative. Self-abandonment isn't just about others leaving you - it's about the countless times you choose everyone and everything but yourself. It's time to become your own parent, your own fierce advocate, your own unwavering champion.

I recently worked with a client who was terrified of scaling her business. The root cause? She was drowning in domestic obligations, pouring all her energy into being the perfect wife and mother, leaving nothing for her entrepreneurial dreams. Her comfort zone was fixing others' problems, never daring to value herself or her aspirations. Once we tackled the core issues of self-love and limiting beliefs, she transformed her mindset and crafted irresistible offers that aligned with her true self. The result? She attracted 50 high-quality clients in just three weeks - during the holiday season, no less!

Your untamed authenticity is your superpower. It's the key to unlocking not just business success, but a life of fulfillment, purpose, and unapologetic joy. When you strip away the layers of people-pleasing and step into your truth, you become a force of nature. You attract clients who resonate with your message, build a business that energizes rather than depletes you, and create a life that feels like coming home to yourself.

Stop to be a pick-me

It's time to shatter the "pick me" mentality and unleash your raw, unfiltered truth. Seeking constant validation is a one-way ticket to attracting people who only love the carefully curated version of you – not your authentic self.

You've mastered the art of people-pleasing, but at what cost? Your dreams, your passions, your true voice – all sacrificed on the altar of approval. It's time for a revolution.

Start sharing your genuine thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Yes, it's terrifying. Yes, you might lose some fair-weather friends. But here's the secret: those who resonate with the real you will be magnetized to your authenticity.

Remember, expressing your truth doesn't mean burning bridges or being unkind. It's about finding the delicate balance between honesty and tact. Speak your mind with compassion, set boundaries with grace, and watch as your relationships transform.

By shedding the "pick me" persona, you'll attract people who appreciate your depth, quirks, and complexities. You'll build a tribe that celebrates your growth rather than stifling it. Most importantly, you'll finally recognize your own worth – no external validation is required.

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Conclusion:

Embracing your authentic self is not just about personal growth – it's a revolutionary act. By stepping away from the "pick me" mentality, you're not only reclaiming your voice, but also inspiring others to do the same. This journey towards authenticity may be challenging, but the rewards are immeasurable: deeper connections, genuine relationships, and a profound sense of self-worth.

Remember, your uniqueness is your strength. The world doesn't need another carbon copy; it needs your distinctive perspective, your unfiltered passion, and your true essence. As you embark on this transformative journey, you'll discover that the real you are far more powerful and magnetic than any carefully crafted persona could ever be.

So, take that first brave step. Speak your truth, set those boundaries, and watch as your life aligns with your authentic self. The path to genuine fulfillment and success starts with embracing who you truly are – unapologetically and wholeheartedly.

What's one small, courageous act of authenticity you can commit to this week to start breaking free from the "pick me" mindset? Share your commitment in the comments – let's inspire and support each other on this journey to true self-expression!

Behind the silence